Skeezix's Scratching Post: June 2009

My New Harniss

Lately, the FL and Mr TF have bin taking me on walks on my leesh. It used to be, I'd only ixplore my yard, but lately I've been gitting vary brave, and I walk all the way down the street. Tonight we walked TEN houses away frum my howse. Mao followed us for a littul wile, but then he got scairt becuz I wuz ixploring beyond his terrytory. (I'm sorry Jete, I tride to git Mr TF to ware shorts, but he wuzn't gonna change his clothes just fur a foto opp.)

This is my speshul 4th of July harniss. It is red wite and bloo with red trim. It's vary cumfterbul and stylish, too! And PAYTREEOTIK.

It also offers exsellent camoflage. Fur example, I bet yoo can't even SEE me in the foto below, ware I am ixploring the cat mint! But I'm thare. Yoo mite have to biggify and then use a magnafying glass to see me:

But even tho this harniss is stylish and PAYTREEOTIK and is good camoflage, I will switch bak to my pink harniss after the 4th of July cuz Pink is the styingest color I know.

Labels: 4th of july

Monday Mistery: SOLVED!

Nope, it wuzn't a Hershey's Kiss that melted in the hot wether. It wuzn't stake sawse. It was poop on my ear. Gandalf and Grayson were the ferst to way in with a correct ear gess, altho they were too scairt to gess whut the spot wuz (I think they knew). Sniffie and the Florida Furkids were the ferst to gess that it was a dollup of poo on the ear. (And yes, I did leeve a hint -- the foto file name!)

No, I don't know exaktly how the poo goo got thare, but sumtimes I git happy feet in the cat box and I danse danse danse and I danse danse danse.

BTW, Gandalf has a pikcher of his innerds up on his blog today. His innerds are gray just like his outterds.

Labels: gandalf and grayson, innerds, outterds, sniffie and the florida furkids, the sqwerts

Monday Mistery

This is a foto of me. What part of me is it, and whut is it that yer lookin' at?

Wether Reeport

It's 100 degreeze today. We cannot blog any further until we have finisht melting. The FL left with her compyooter to sit in Safeway wich is totally not fare. Cuz I'd be vary good and vary kool in Safeway.

Labels: i don't like the hots

Jeter has a talk with his Dad.....

Labels: da grate Jeter Harris

Werdless Wenzday

Labels: wordless wednesday

I am Skeezix, heer me roar!

Hed over to The Cat's Meow to heer me speek in my uber-manly mancat roar!

Watch the video at the bottum of the post.

Labels: The Cats Meow

San Fransisko!

Heer are sum fotos of me and my trip to Catster HQ last week. We did "Take yer cat to werk" day a little erly.

Heer is a pikcher of me by Catster HQ with the sitty of San Fransisko in the bakgrownd:

Heer I'm wating fur the Food Lady to git all her krap outta the car:

It's a good thing I took a dump in the bloo masheen, becuz once yer in San Fransisko dumping is aginst the law:

Sinse we were gonna be werkin owt, we made shur we wared kyoot werkout geer. I wore my mesh red-wite-and-bloo werkowt owtfit wich is just like sumthing Richerd Simmuns wood ware. I just LOVE Richerd Simmuns. He kraks me up. How many Skeezies do yoo see?

This is me and my new NOMSS Frend, Moxie Rheinmore. Moxie runs DGTR's howse. That's Moxie's mom and DGTR. Moxie was a little intimidated by me.

They had a snak table set up, but it was all helthy foods. Not a bottle of toona joose in site.

This is me an my frend John. John wuz the camraman fur the werkowt video. He's also a bigwig at Catster, but I didn't git to see his big wig. Just his bigness. And his bichin 'burns.

Labels: bichin burns, catster

Sellebrity Workout

Heer is a video of me doing my workout with sellebrity cat fitness guru Tara Brown. Yoo mite notiss that I'm NOT WARING PINK! That's cuz I deesided to ware a red-white-and-blue mesh workowt owtfit that looks just like sumthing Richerd Simmins wood ware. I just LOVE Richerd Simmins. It's also close to the 4th of July, so I'm gitting paytriotik.

Yoo mite also notiss that DGTR no longer is waring his dark manly face wiskers. Insted, he's waring dark manly wiskers on his legs. So I'm gonna start trying to grow dark manly wiskers on my legs, too. Cuz trying to grow them on my face didn't werk owt so good. My speshul frend Daisy just thot I had aknee.

Yoo can reed more abowt Tara Brown on CNN.

Labels: catworkout.com, richard simmons, tara brown

Legs

Labels: legs

Happy Berthday Jeter Harris' Mom!

Labels: DGTR sings good, jeter harris

Tomorrow's Ajenda: Sellebrity Werkout

I have bin a littul deeprest this week cuz it is "Take yer pet to werk week," and the FL has not sed a singul werd to me abowt taking me in to Catster.

Well, today, she sprung a hyooge surprize on me! Not only do I get to go to Catster tomorrow, but I GIT TO DO A SELLEBRITY WERKOWT WITH TARA BROWN!!!!!

If yoo've bin living in a cave and don't know hoo Tara Brown is reed abowt her heer on CNN. That's her in the video above. She is the branes beehind catworkout.com. She has a cowcat named Lucky Cat hoo she uses as a wate win she werks out. The gest cat in the video is Gadzuki.

We rited abowt her on The Cat's Meow win she was on CNN, and the next day DGTR is like, "Skeez, yoo wanna werk owt with Tara Brown? I can make that happen for ya, buddy." And he did.

So fokes, say good-bye to my Barney Fife fizeek. The next time yoo see me, I will look like Arnuld Schwartzinayger, but withowt the dide hare.

Labels: catster hq, catworkout.com, DGTR, tara brown

Is yer dad da Best Cat Dad?

This week, we're holding a "Best Cat Dad" contest over at The Cat's Meow. Winner gets 50 zealies and a custom travel mug! Enter today!

Teknikly, yer dad will win the crown as "Second-best Cat Dad in the Werld" becuz, of korse, Mr TF is da best!

Labels: cat dad award, The Cats Meow

Gess hoo's feecherd on the Pet Boutique Blog today?

Hed over to the Pet Boutique Blog and check out me and Mr D, modeling our grate nekware frum "Cat in the Clover!"

If yoo haven't bin to Cat in the Clover reesintly, yoo shood chek out the KYOOT lapel pins!

This may be just the expozhure I need to jumpstart my flagging moduling career!

Labels: cat in the clover, modulling, move over Tyra Banks

Best Cat Dad Contest

Hey, evrybuddy, over at The Cat's Meow, we're having a "Best Cat Dad" contest fur Father's Day. Winner gits 50 zealies and a Cat's Meow Travel Mug with my mug on it!

Click here to enter.

Labels: catsmeowblog.com, contest, the cat's meow

Be shur to git all the nooks and krannies

Labels: da grate Mr TF

Yer Sweedish Lessin Fur the Day

This is my frend Tailer. Tailer used to live in Sweedin and now he lives in San Fransisko. His Food Dude is da vary hansum Snuzzy hoom I have purrsunully hed-bonked fur Jeter Harris.

So Tailer and I were p-mailing each other on Catster and the topik of Hoo Ha's came up.

As menny of yoo mancats know, hoo ha's is a freeqwint topik of conversayshun.

But do yoo know whut Tailer called them?????

CHINGALINGS!

At ferst, I didn't know whut he wuz purring abowt. Tailer still has kind of a thik aksent, so it's hard to unnerstand him, even in p-male.

So I asked him, "Is chingalings Sweedish fur hoo ha's?"

And Tailer sed, "ja".

Wich meens YES in Sweedish .

So thare yoo have it.

Labels: chingalings, daisy the curly cat nailed Tripper in the hoo has.

I dunno whut he's up to....

... but I'm sure it's NO GOOD!

Labels: vishus deer

You know how cats are....

Labels: new yorker cartoons

Werdless Wenzday

Labels: note mao's sparkle bar neer the food dish, wordless wednesday

Jan's Funny Farm is Confyoozed

Today I got an emale frum Jan's Funny Farm:

"We are very confused. Have we missed something? We thought Skeezix is a boy. Daisy is his girlfriend??? But he wears pink and was "miss congeniality" and is going to be a bridesmaid at Skittles (???) wedding in July. So we are really, really confused.
JFF"

Deer Jan's Funny Farm,

I am a boycat. Daisy is my gerlfrend. I LOVE LOVE LOVE pink. (I had my colors dun and fownd it was the best color for me). I wun "Miss Congeniality" and I am going to be the made of honor at Skittles wedding in July.

I understand yer confyoozhun. Skittles wedding colors will be mint, white and platinum, and NO PINK! I'm sure yer wundering how I will manaje waring a kyoot owtfit that's not pink. But I looked it up in Miss Manners and fownd owt that yoo hafta ware the colors the bride choozes. So I will be happy to do so. And maybe after the pikchers are taken, I'll slip into sumthing more pinkifull.

Yer frend,
Skeezy

Labels: da grate Jeter Harris, jan's funny farm, my speshul frend Daisy, skittles

My Frends Shabby and Katie Tulip had a Poem Ritten for Me!!!

Yoo won't beeleeve whut I got in my emale today! My best frends Shabby and Katie Tulip got a fameuss poet to rite a poem for me. Heer it is:

Skeezix
by Rebecca Strecker
6/8/09

My life is an adventure
in every sort of way.
Fans log on to my “Scratching Post”
to read about my day.

I was born a little bitty runt,
I am purebred, apropos
I have papers that can prove it,
where they're kept at I don't know.

My breeding is quite evident.
I'm Siamese and Balinese.
Mao calls me a “wite rat”,
because he likes to tease.

I live with big brother Mao
and Rocky the”Gutter Cat”
along with “Psycho Stray Cat” Tripster.
What do you think of that?

Mao is the BEST big brother.
He has taught how to shed,
And to be a picky eater,
and talk so loud I wake the dead.

I am the height of fashion
and my favorite color's pink.
It compliments my blue crossed eyes
at least that's what I think.

I'm a "Feline Fashionista,"
and design my own neat togs.
And YOU can even order them
from my Skeezix Kitty Blog.

I almost won a spelling bee,
but they enforced the rules
and said I had to wear their T-shirt
instead of dressing cool.

So they named me “Miss Congeniality”
which was the highest prize.
Even though I spelled “SARCOIDOSIS”
which is hard to vocalize.

I've a fancy red Jeep Rubicon stroller,
the ultimate luxury.
It has room for several other friends
who'd like to stroll with me.

I love to hear from all my fans
who log on to check me out.
In the world of cat celebrities
I'm the best without a doubt.

Love,
Rebecca
http://poems2order.wordpress.com/

Thank yoo Shabby and Katie Tulip! Yer the thotfullest cats I've ever known!!!!

Katie Tulip

Shabby

Labels: katie tulip, shabby

DGTR fownd my dad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tonite, my vary close frend, DGTR, sent me an emale and told me he thot he'd fownd my DAD!!!!!

I coodn't beeleeve it! And just beefore Father's Day. As yoo all know, I always suspekted my mom was a ho becuz I didn't look anything like my byootiful sisters, so I've always wunderd hoo my dad wuz, and now thanks to DGTR, I'VE FOWND HIM!!! My face is leeking so hard I think I mite drown if I don't hypervenilate to deth ferst!!!!

Labels: da grate ted rheingold, my father

Saterday Morning Cat-toons

Labels: new yorker cartoons

Alert the FAA!

I think thare mite be pigs flying that poze a risk to aircraft. Today I witnist Mao and Rocky sleeping together and even a few molecules of thare furs were tuching!!!! This has never happend beefore in the history of owr howse:

Maybe Rocky is kunsidering letting Mao rejoin the VDR faktery!

Labels: mao and rocky's vishus deer repelunt, mao hates rocky

Don't miss the feecher on Rosie and Cheeto at The Cat's Meow!

Hey, evrybuddy! Today the Food Lady did a grate interview with Rosie and Cheeto's mom over at The Cat's Meow. Did yoo know that Rosie and Cheeto have traveld more than 5000 miles in the car?!? Reed all abowt it heer.

And, if yoo leeve a comment over thare on the post, yoo'll be automatikly enterd in the drawing to win a grate prize package sponserd by Iams!

Labels: rosie and cheeto, The Cats Meow

Contemplayting Life

Today, I jumped up on the balconey and started thinkin... abowt the end of my career as a spellin bee cuntestant, how I let my coach Jeter down, how I let evrybuddy down hoo wuz cowntin' on me to bring home the big gold trofey.

I thot maybe I cood throw myself off the balcuney and watch my guts splatter like a Jaksun Polluk paynting on the deck beelow. But it was a loooong way down to the dek and I don't wunt to be a drama qween even if it wood make Jacques Bailey and all thoze spellin bee peepul think twice abowt dissing kyoot pinkalicious owtfits in the fyoocher.