This may be my last post EVER

Tonite, my frends, I am sorry to say I witnist one of the most terrifying akts of my hole entire life. Wile me and the Food Lady were bloggin, thare was a comoshun next door, and we looked owt the window to see a GINORMOUS vishus deer that had horns with SIX speers on it, charging and crashing the iron gate of the howse next door to look fur thare tender yung joosy cats. Or maybe he wuz lookin fur ME and Mao & Rocky's Vishus Deer Repelunt Faktery.

He wood charge and run up to the gate at a sqwillion miles and poke it with his ginormous horns, and then win that didn't werk, he wint bak and charged it agin, over and over until he broke thru the iron gate wich was locked to keep the vishus deers OWT. I krawled under the desk and I think I wet myself a little bit cuz it was so terrifyin. I don't have a foto cuz yoo can't take a foto frum under the desk. And the dust bunnies kinda gave me azma.

So if yoo never heer frum me agin, yoo'll know that the vishus deer with many speers on his horns broke into my howse and eated me up. Cuz even tho I am five yeers old, I am still a littul tender and joosy.

It was nice knowin' ya.

This may be my last post EVER

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/this-may-be-my-last-post-ever.html

Simba has a blog!

Simba (hoo has the floofiest tale I've ever seen in my hole entire life!) now has a blog -- this is the link: http://simbasantics.blogspot.com/. Yoo probly know him frum his expertise in finding Chey on Find Chey Fridays.

Be shur to add him to yer blogroll and drop by and welcome him!

Simba has a blog!

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/simba-has-blog.html

Toons on Toozday

OMC!!!! Harley is in a New Yorker cartoon!!!!!!

Toons on Toozday

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/toons-on-toozday.html

I don't understand hyoomans

This morning, the FL was helpin me with my web serfing wich she hardly ever duz anymore and I wint to vizit my buddy Guido's blog, and I had to do werd verifikayshun. The werd was stiffy. The FL started laffin an laffin. I don't know why. I looked it up on the Google, and the ferst cupple of entries was for fishin poles, wich duzn't sownd pawticularly hilarious. Hmmmm.

I don't understand hyoomans

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/i-dont-understand-hyoomans.html

How to Make a Flat Cat

The FL is my gest blogger today. She's giving instrukshuns on making a flat cat. Win Jeter Harris' mom comes to San Fransisko next week, both me and Flat Skeezix will be thare to cheer her on.

Heer's how to make a Flat Cat:

If you're familiar with the concept of "Flat Stanley," you know what I'm talking about. A Flat-Cat is a feline Flat Stanley, a stand-up version of your cat that you can take on vacation with you and pose for vacation photos.

I have several versions of "Flat Skeezix" that travel with me
anytime Skeezix can't. Flat Skeezix has logged about 15,000 travel miles and has
even kissed the Blarney Stone. Your flat-cat will definitely make your set of
vacation photos more interesting.

Making a Flat-Cat is easy:

1. Take a photo of your cat. It's best if she's sitting up facing the camera.


2. Make a print of the photo, as close to life size as possible, usually 11"X14". If she's about 12 inches tall standing up, her image
   should occupy about 12" of the vertical space on the photo, with about 2" left
   over (see example, right).


3. Adhere the print to a piece of foam core board (fig 1
   below). You can get foam core with an adhesive back at any office supply
   store. Or, use spray adhesive or a glue stick.


4. Weight it down overnight.


5. Using an Exacto knife, cut out around the cat image (fig 2 below). Put a self-healing mat or several layers of cardboard beneath the foam core so that you don't score your dining room table.


6. Cut a strip of foam core about 1-1/2" wide and not quite as tall as your cat. This will prop your cat up as you pose her.


7. Affix it to the back of your foam core cat with packing tape or duct tape (depicted in green in the figure), about 2/3 of the way up (fig 3 below).


8. Try it out, trimming the length of the support as necessary. The flat cat should tilt backward slightly for stability. Once you have the angle correct, put a second length of tape about halfway down the support that connects the support to the flat cat about an inch or two away. I take 2 lengths of tape and stick them sticky-sides-together in the middle, with the last inch on each end used to affix it to the support and the flat cat.
   

Keep in mind, when you photograph your flat cat when using a flash, you'll get a flash reflection if you shoot head-on. Move slightly to the side and you should be okay.

How to Make a Flat Cat

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/how-to-make-flat-cat.html

Vishus Deer Alert

WARNING!!!!

THE FOLLOWING VIDEO IS VARY DISTERBIN.


AND I DO MEEN VARY DISTERBIN.

It's just gittin werse and werse with the vishus deer. As yoo can planely see in the following video, they turned a poor dawg into a slave and forst him to give the vishus deer piggybak rides. Are kittehs the next species to be enslaved in this way???????

NO! We're smarter than dawgs and we've got owr Mao & Rocky's Vishus Deer Repelunt and we know how to use it!!!!

Vishus Deer Alert

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/vishus-deer-alert.html

OMC OMC OMC!!!!

Today I was feecherd on PetCare Bev's Blog, "My Fire Hydrant." (Yes, it sownds suspishly like a dawg blog, duzn't it?) Bev was owr grayshus hostess win the Food Lady and me wint to Iams Hedqwarters. In her blog post today, she tells all abowt how surprized she was win I shode up to the blogger summit, and made my big entrinse at the Fansy Restraunt ware we nom nom nommed.

Klik heer to reed all abowt how I took Dayton by storm.

PS: DMM is giving away Eukanooba this week. And she talks in her blog post abowt Bev and Emily hoo are pikcherd above.

OMC OMC OMC!!!!

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/omc-omc-omc.html

Message frum the FL

Hey, everybody, the Food Lady here:

Jeter Harris' mom and her entourage will be in San Francisco next week for the 60-mile Breast Cancer walk. If you're able to help cheer her on, please join the rest of us cheerleaders in rooting for her along the way. There will also be a special dinner on Sunday night, after the conclusion of the walk. (Where you will get to meet Mr TF live and in purrson.) Skeezix is also likely to make a live appearance at some point.

But, in order to connect everybody at the cheering stations, I need to know who will be attending on which days. To facilitate this, I've set up a blog where you can leave comments as a means of signing up.

If you want to email me privately, my email contact info is on the blog.

CLICK HERE TO GO TO THE BLOG.

Message frum the FL

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/message-frum-fl.html

MEOW LIKE A PIRATE!

Avast ye mateys! I'm sailing to Floriduh t' steel my wench away and hed fur the hi sees. Ya with me or agin' me?

Don't furget to drop by The Cat's Meow and see all owr frends in the Pirate Purrade!!!

(Thanks to Cap'n Calvin and fambly fur my grate and vary seewerthy pirate ship!)

MEOW LIKE A PIRATE!

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/meow-like-pirate.html

Catwalk Caturday

Sinse my speshul frend Daisy wore denim fur Catwalk Caturday, I am, too. This is my favorite kyoot owtfit, I think. But insted of Daisy Duking it with a red bandana, I am aksesserizing with a hot pink boa. Cuz yoo CAN NEVER GO RONG WITH A FETHER BOA. Even if it looks sukky with yer kyoot owtfit, yoo can still play with it.

Catwalk Caturday is to support owr frend Misha is trying to become Noo Zeelund's next top cat model, and she's razing munneys, to, fur cat cawzes. So chek her owt, and pleeze vote fur her for the next NZ cat model.

Catwalk Caturday

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/catwalk-caturday.html

Friday Fans

Friday Fans

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/friday-fans.html

My Speshul Bday Prezint frum Miss Daisy

This is one of my gifts frum my speshul frend Daisy. It's a Snugglesafe. Wich keeps me warm just like I'm cuddling into Daisy ixsept it won't elektrokyoot me or ketch on fire. Wow. Just thinking abowt cuddling into Daisy kinda makes my underparts ketch on fire.

The other gift frum Daisy wuz sumthing speshul she did just for me on her webcam. I wuz gonna tell yoo all abowt it, but the Food Lady told me that a gentulman never tells the hole innernets abowt things like that cuz thare speshul purrsunul webcam moments.

I can't use the Snugglesafe tonite cuz it's a sqwillion degreeze heer, but the minit it gits kold, I'm gonna have the FL throw it in the mikrowave fur me.

THANK YOO DAISY (and Harley)!!!!

My Speshul Bday Prezint frum Miss Daisy

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/my-speshul-bday-prezint-frum-miss-daisy.html

Happy Berthday to Me!

UPDATE!!!!

I'm feechered on the 365 Cat Ladies blog today!!!!! Chek it owt, and let the grate artist Susan Faye know how much yoo like the way she colors and stays inside the lines!


This yeer for my berthday, my vary vary best frends Shabby, Katie Tulip and angel Kalin Mae commisshuned a painting of me and the Food Lady commemerayting my 5th berthday frum the famous Crazy Cat Lady Artist, Susan Faye.

Well, win the Food Lady unvaled it, I was verklempt. Gobsmacked! Blone away! Yoo can tell Susan Faye is a vary grate artist cuz she left the bags under the Food Lady's eyes out and didn't put in the age spots and she gave me big mussels. That, my frends, is artistry.

Thanks so much to all of yoo deer frends hoo have sended me wishes and prezents. The best prezent I ever got was finding frends like yoo all on the innernet. And Shabby and Kalin were my vary ferst innernet frends!

Gotta go and blow owt my kandles!

GEEZ! I'm almost as old as Rocky the Gutter Cat!

Happy Berthday to Me!

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/happy-berthday-to-me.html

More Eukanuba Photos

Heer's me and my big pink ball!


I am hoping that Iams and Eukanuba will make me the Poster Cat for this campaign:


Because Iams and Eukanuba pade for the hole entire trip, they made us werk some. We got to prototype a new cat treat. It's blocked out in this photo because we sined an NDA, but here's a hint: it will give yoo Ninja Cat powers!


And here's a foto of me with the final produkt wich yoo can't see becuz of the NDA.


Heer I am at the bowling alley chatting up the ladies. The lady rite next to me is Romeo the Cat's mom. Even tho we have the same last name, Romeo the Cat and I are not related


Heer I am with the Produkt Manajer for Iams cat food produkts. I told her they needed to make six-paks of toona joose and ham-flayverd cat food.

More Eukanuba Photos

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/more-eukanuba-photos.html

Fun Friday

Today I got to vizit an animul shelter. Thare were kyoot kittins thare, and I don't beeleeve they'd ever seen a Feline Fashunista.

This was a Shit zoo I met.Wate. I think that's on my bad werds list. Or maybe I didn't hear rite. He reely reely liked me. I gave me kisses on the face. He wuzn't at the pownd, he wuz at HQ.
This was a vary tall dog with stylish hares. I ask her how she got her hares so nice and long and she sed it's cuz she eats Eukanuba.
Here I am this morning with the CEO of Iams/Eukanuba. He was vary nice. The Food Lady asked him why she can't buy the Eukanuba food that Rocky likes in the 3lb bags, just the big bags wich git stale and Rocky won't eat it. And he purrsunally saw to it that someone chased down the information and found a way for the Food Lady to get the food. She was imprest. Rocky will be vary happy.

I was vary happy that the surjery on my tale was suksessful so I cood have my hole tale showing win I met the head of Iams/Eukanuba.

We were vary lucky that Iams/Eukanuba pade to fly us to Dayton Ohio wich I think is even more the center of the universe than Oildale California is.

Fun Friday

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/fun-friday.html

I had to have surjery

WARNING!!!!!

THE PIKCHERS IN THIS POST ARE NOT FOR THE SQEEMISH!!!!



REELY!!!!



I MEEN IT!!!!

What I failed to tell yoo all was that I had a little medikul "insident" on my rode trip. Yoo see, win I was in the Food Lady's bakpak, my tale came off.

Forchewnitly, ware we were, there were abowt a sqwillyun vetrinarians. One of them was my good frend, Dr Eric, hoo blogs fur Dogster.

So, the Food Lady told Dr Eric abowt my medikul emerjensy. He examined me, then he purrformd surjery, rite thare in the bowling alley.

Heer is Dr Eric:

With his skild surjun's hands, he taped it rite bak on:

Becuz he is a vetrinary purrfeshunul, he was vary thorough and made shur to stick it bak on both frunt and bak.

Heer's anuther look at his masterful hands.


And heer I am rite after surjery, good as new, with my brite pink ball.


Bowling is vary fun. I'm glad I got my tale bak so I cood have a good time.


Thank yoo Dr. Eric (hoo was also the bowling champiun of the nite with a skore of 178!)

Tomorrow, Dr Eric and the FL and me are going to meet with President and CEO of Iams and Eukanuba, Dan Rajczak. If yoo have any qweschuns yoo'd like me to ask him, pleeze leeve a note in the comments and I'll ask him.

Eukanuba flew the Food Lady and me to Ohio and pade fur evrything. And they just coodn't take enuf pikchers of me, so I'm gessing they mite be asking me to pose on thare food bags or be in a teevee commershul or sumthing. It's a good thing I gave them my bizniss card so that they can stay in tuch.

I had to have surjery

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/i-had-to-have-surjery.html

I GOT TO DRIVE A BUS!!!!!!

I GOT TO DRIVE A BUS!!!!!!

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/i-got-to-drive-bus.html

Whut an exciting day!!!!

The therd airport we wint to today had free innerwebs:




This is Jim. He is the man at the airport hoo holded up a sine with the Food Lady's name on it and then he gave us a ride in his nice blak catillac.

Jim sed I shood sit in the back seet, so me and the Food Lady did. He took us to ware the dinner wuz.
In this foto, the byootiful lady on the right is the famous Romeo the Cat's mom!!!! I coodn't beeleeve we were havin dinner with her! She was vary vary nice.


Heer I am in a bus riding bak to the hotel. It was a nice bus with cooshy seets an the bus driver was vary talented.


After dinner, I had a speshul treet:buckeye ice kreem! It was good.



I stopped by heer for sum akshun after dinner, but they were kinda closed up. This town doesn't stay up neerly as late as they do in Castro Valley.

Has anybuddy gest ware I am?

Whut an exciting day!!!!

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/whut-exciting-day.html

Owr Rode Trip

I found sum nice pink cowboy hats but the Food lady sed they didn't have them in my size. I wuz disappointed. Cuz they look like they just about are ixzactly my size.

I wunted the FL to buy me a armadiller, but she sed we're broke and can't afford armadiller food. 

I got to drink a moka frap wich is the FL's faverite thing to drink.

Ware do yoo think we're going???

Owr Rode Trip

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/owr-rode-trip.html

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/wordless-wednesday.html

Wordless Wednesday: Double Trouble

Wordless Wednesday: Double Trouble

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/wordless-wednesday-double-trouble.html

Jeter, Meet the Werld's Biggest Rat

A new species of rat has bin diskuvered. It's called the "Bosavi Woolly Rat" but I just call him Ben. It's one of the biggest rats in the werld,it mezyers just over 32 inches from noze to tale and ways 3 pownds. (It mite be British pownds cuz I red it on the BBC.) I think it cood feed all the cats in owr howse, inklooding garage cat, altho purrsunully, I prefer Fansy Feest.

It is not afrade of peepul, and the sientists hoo diskuvered him sed he wuz vary dossul. Wich I think meens tame. He was fownd in an old volkano krater.

So Jeter, heer's a sports challinge for yoo: can yooo make this big rat go ded? We'll git the man in the bloo shorts to bring yoo one! Cuz we'd like to see yer mom's reakshun win yoo leeve him on yer mom's patio!

Yoo can reed more abowt Ben heer.

Jeter, Meet the Werld's Biggest Rat

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/jeter-meet-werlds-biggest-rat.html

A T13 awates yoo....

A T13 awates yoo....

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/t13-awates-yoo.html

Werdless Wenzday

Werdless Wenzday

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/werdless-wenzday.html

OMC!!!!!!

OMC! OMC! OMC!!!!! I'm growing a fin in the middul of my bak!!!!! This is like sum awfull horrer moovey! And whut will my speshul frend Daisy think? And how can I find kyoot clothes to ware that accomodate a fin in the bak?????? Maybey I will have to join the cirkus with Daisy and be part of the FREEK SHOW!!!

OMC!!!!!!

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/09/omc.html