Cat's Meow Giveaway!

Hey evrybuddy, over on The Cat's Meow this week, we're giving away a Bad Cats page-a-day calendar. And Tripper can't enter cuz he's in my famly! Chek it owt!

Cat's Meow Giveaway!

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/12/cats-meow-giveaway.html

Merry Krissmiss Evrycat!

Merry Krissmiss evrycat! Even if yoo don't sellubrate Krissmiss, I hope yer having a grate holiday seezin.

I must say, I was vary happy with my dress this yeer. I asked the FL to make me look like Vera Ellen in the finale of owr faverite Krissmiss moovey, Wite Krissmiss, and she really came thru for me. I bet if yoo put a pikcher of Vera Ellen next to me, yoo woodn't be abul to tell us apart. Thank yoo FL!

Merry Krissmiss Evrycat!

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/12/merry-krissmiss-evrycat.html

Krissmiss Lites 2009

As yoo all probly know, I have a Krissmiss tradishun of going owt to look at Krissmiss lites with the Food Lady and Mr Tasty Face. It is vary fun. This yeer, I wore my new "PROP. OF SANTA" hoodie. It is a nice cazhual holiday look and it is vary warm. It also has a flirty plad skert. Ixsept, cuz I'm a mancat, it's called a kilt. And in case yer wundering, I'm going commando. Cuz that's whut mancats do.

The FL and Mr TF got into the spirit with elf hats.

Our ferst stop is at a howse that has musik and blinky lites that go in time to the musik. We hafta git thare erly to git a good spot. Then I have to chek owt all the angles to see ware the best viewing is frum. Heer, I'm cheking the view out the reer window.
Wile I was doing that, sum of my fans came up. They acted like they'd never seen a cat going to watch Krissmiss lites, before. Imajin that! They must live in an undergrownd bunker or sumthing. They were vary vary nice and sed I was a byootiful cat. They pet me, but they didn't give me any temtashuns on accownt of them not ixpekting to see a cat out looking at Krissmiss lites.
More fans. They thot the hoodie was a nice tuch.

Win we were thru thare, I got to drive the bloo masheen arownd the nayberhood wile we looked at Krissmiss lites. I had never drived the bloo masheen at nite before, so it was vary ixsitin'.
Many many howzes had lited vishus deer skeletuns in thare frunt yards. But I was not scairt cuz I had my Mao & Rocky's Vishus Deer Repelunt with me!

My faverite thing to see was a PENGWIN! And we wern't even at the bottum of the werld ware pengwins live! Forchewnitly, it's bin vary kold at owr howse, so I think the pengwins feel rite at home.
More vishus deer. Yoo can see how bravely I stare them in the eyes and defy them to come and eet me.
I hope yoo enjoyed the Krissmiss Lite Tour this yeer!

Krissmiss Lites 2009

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/12/krissmiss-lites-2009.html

Back to the V-E-T

This morning, the FL took me fur a ride in the bloo masheen. At ferst, I thot she was gonna take me to see Santa Clawz. But the root we took wuz vary familyer. (For the rekerd, I wore my powder bloo kote that has silver piping and sheepskin lining. Vary klassy.)

The sun was out and it feeled vary nice on my face!


Terns out, we were goin' to see my frends at Bullevard Pet Hospitul. The man in the bloo kote (hoo wuz waring plad today) gave me a complimentry teeth kleenig becuz I am a sellebrity custumer. That's one of the perqs of bein' famous. Ixsept I wuz hopin' fur sumthing more like a nice Prada handbag or an Hermes skarf.

Win I came in to have him cure my eyesnots so I cood poze for a Krissmiss pikcher withowt waring a pirate patch, he told me to come bak fur a teeths kleening cuz I have jinjervilinse. And the only kyoor is mowth torcher.

The bluds wuz exploding frum my teeth like lava frum a grate volkano. I spared yoo the bluds pikchers cuz they were kinda gross.

After my tooth torcher sesshun, I got wade. I thot I was gitting lade, so I took off all my clothes, but it terns out I didn't heer them qwite rite. Talk abowt IMBERRIST! I jumpt on the skale nekkid anyway. I way 6.54 pownds. That's six and a haff pownds of pure mussel!

On the way home I got to look owt the window of the bloo masheen and watch the howses go by. I saw many Santa Clawses and even sum vishus deer!!! I'm glad I was safe in the bloo masheen.

The man in the bloo kote promisst that he wood not leek the news abowt my dizeeze, the jinjervilinse, to the press or papparatzi. That wuz a big releef. Cuz all I need is a big foto on TMZ of me with all the bluds splooging out of my mowth.

He also rekummended aginst my doing any dental cat food endorsemints rite now until I git the jinjervilinse under kuntrol. I hope I'm kyoored by Valentine's day, cuz that's the one day of the yeer yoo wunt to have wite teeths and fresh breths!

Back to the V-E-T

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/12/back-to-v-e-t.html

Gotcha!

Today's my gotcha-versary, the anniversury of the ferst day I came to live with my new famly, the FL, Mr TF and my big bruther Mao. I am the lukkiest cat in the werld to git to live in the werld's best cathouse. To sellubrate, here are a few fotos frum the erly days win I wuz just a littul runt. Compare that to my big mussels now!

Gotcha!

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/12/gotcha.html

Fashun Foe Paw

As yoo may or mayn't know, the Food Lady spends a lot of time at PeopleOfWalmart.com. I dunno why. She never goze to Walmart. And it's a dum site with NOT A SINGUL CAT on the hole website.

But I must admit, win I saw this pikcher, I neerly salivated myself into a coma!!!!! Whut a KYOOT OWTFIT!!!! Yoo've got spandex, and a kyoot wig, and furry boot things and it's ALL PINK. Or so I thot. Until I spotted her fashun foe paw.

Look at her gluvs. They are not pink. WHUT WUZ SHE THINKING? She puts on the kyootest owtfit seen on erth sinse my idul Libberachi dide, and she furgot the pink gluvs. Boy, I bet Stacey and Klintun wood give her hek fur that!!!!

Fashun Foe Paw

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/12/fashun-foe-paw.html

Farewell, Sweet Prinnie

Owr byootiful deer frend Prinnie wint to the Bridge this morning to join her brother Caesar. We love yoo, Prinnie! You were trooly a princess.

Farewell, Sweet Prinnie

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/12/owr-byootiful-deer-frend-prinnie-wint.html

Invest in a good stylist

I was just chekin to see if the trane on my dress was pozishuned correktly, but the stylist kept going "look at the camra, Skeez." Whut duz it matter if I'm lookin at the camra if my big bruther Mao is staring off into space???

Well I know how to look at the camra, but Mao hasn't qwite cawt on yet.

Invest in a good stylist

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/12/invest-in-good-stylist.html

How to Deel with Ammacher Moduls

Well, the good nooz is, my eyesnots wint away. My V-E-T saved Krissmiss!

The bad nooz is, the FL got this wild hare up her yoo-no-whut to poze BOTH me and my big bruther Mao for the Krissmiss kard.

Boy, wuz it ever an ORDEEL!

Mr Tasty Face had his hands full. Cuz Mao is an AMMACHER modul, and duzn't know ANYTHING abowt pozing fur pikchers, and he HATED his nice costoom with all the bling and he musta had his cranky pants on under the nice costoom with all the bling cuz all he wood do is sit thare like a bump on a log, not even sitting up strate, saying my life suks. Wich is whut he always sez, but he wuz reely doing it with gusto.

So I had a chat with him. I tride to keep it frendly but he didn't wunt to heer advice frum "A PIPSKWEEK." I told him abowt good posture, and how he needed to hold his chin up so his nek wood look swanlike, like my idol, Awdrey Hepberns, and it might help if he sukt in his gut cuz moduls don't have furchins. And I told him he had to look strate at the Food Lady win she's sez "EVRYBUDDY SAY GREENIES!" and smile a little bit, but not so much that yoo look goofy. I told him he shood lik his teeth beefore the FL sez "EVRYBUDDY SAY GREENIES!" becuz that's whut the soopermoduls do. And yoo know whut he sed to me as thanks fur giving him all this free moduling advice??

He sed, "Skeez, yoo got krap on yer noze and yoo smell like a litterboks, so don't go bossin' me arownd Mr Prissypants."

So even tho my eyesnots are gone, we still mite not git a Krissmiss card done this yeer.

How to Deel with Ammacher Moduls

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/12/how-to-deel-with-ammacher-moduls.html

Thare in yer nayberhoods, steelin yer Krissmiss lites!

Vishus Deer have bin spotted steeling Krissmiss lites so they can lite up thare paths to find tender yung joosy cats in the dark! Don't go outside at nite, kittehs, withowt yer can of Mao & Rocky's Vishus Deer Repellunt!

Thare in yer nayberhoods, steelin yer Krissmiss lites!

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/12/thare-in-yer-nayberhoods-steelin-yer.html

My eyesnots are going away

I'm gitting better. My eyesnots are almost all gone away. Nurse Mao has bin taking vary good care of me. It's vary cumferting win yer sik to have a big bruther hoo makes shur yoo git better agin. I shur do love my big bruther Mao. He's da best!

My eyesnots are going away

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/12/my-eyesnots-are-going-away.html

Werdless Wednesday: Eye Snots

Yoo can biggify. Or not.

Werdless Wednesday: Eye Snots

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/12/werdless-wednesday-eye-snots.html

The Vet Who Saved Krissmiss

Well, it wuzn't such a good day today cuz win I ferst waked up, one of my eyes was glooed shut. At ferst I thot it was a praktikul joke that my big bruther Mao and Tripper plade on me, but it terns owt it wuzn't a joke I got sik in my eyes. Probly cuz my snots wint into my eyes win I sneezed a billyun times this week.

Wich ment I had to go to see my frends at Bullevard Pet Hospitul. That part was okay; they treet me like a rok star and always comment on my kyoot owtfits. But I did git torcherd. And it wint beyond just having the ice cold thing shuvved up my booty. (ATTN YUNG KITTINS: yoo mite not wunt to reed further.)

But let me start at the beginning. I just kept gitting sikker and sikker and sneezier and sneezier this week, so finely the FL and Mr TF deesided to take me to see the man in the bloo kote hoo cood make me all better. One of my eyes was VARY infekted wich ment we coodn't take pikchers for my Krissmiss card, and thare are hundreds of cats all over the werld wayting for the man in the bloo shorts to bring him thare Skeezix Krissmiss cards, so the sichuation is whut they call DIRE. It looked like thare mite not be Krissmiss cards going out this yeer, or WERSE, they mite have to skweeze Tripper into my kyoot costoom and he wood just bust owt all the seems cuz he's ginormuss.

So we wint to see the v-e-t. I deesided to ware my pet cam and do a foto essay. I fownd my pet cam this morning by the frunt door ware that stoopid Tripper had just dropt it so it cood be stept on and deestroyed. He has no respekt fur purrsunul property.

Heer is the rush howr traffik on the way to see my frends at Bullevard Pet Hospitul. Traffik is vary byootiful but I don't know why it's called rush howr becuz nobuddy seemed to be rushing. I just looked at the vary byootiful twinkly lites and lissend to the FL yell like a steevadoor. I dunno whut a steevadoor is, but that's whut Mr TF calls it win she yells like that.

Win I ferst got to Bullevard Pet Hospitul, my frend Mark took me down the hall to do that thing to my booty. Boy howdy, "that thing" was espeshully ice kold today. Heer we are, rushing down the hall:

Bak in the waiting room, I wint to see the lizzerds cuz my speshul frend Daisy luvs lizzerds:

Heer is the table ware the man in the bloo kote puts all the payshunts hoo didn't make it. Theeze are skellytuns and it isn't even Halloween anymore. I hope he kyoors me and I don't end up on the wayting room table.

Bullevard Pet Hospitul has good reeding mateeriul. It's importunt to have a v-e-t with good reeding mateeriul.

Yep, we're all just sitting thare wayting. I wunted to give Mr TF's face a good lik, but he likes privasy win I do that. Cuz it's kinda a purrsunul thing between me and Mr TF.


The FL was wayting, too. In the middle, yoo can see the door that goze bak to the torcher chamber:


And thare are a millyun fotos of the inside of my carrier. I'll just show yoo the ferst one, becuz they kinda all look alike:

Unforchewnitly, I took so many pikchers of the inside of my carrier that my cat cam ranned owt of film. So I coodn't show yoo the ixzaminayshun room ware they remodeled it so one wall is all pikchers of ME!

The man in the bloo shirt came in and torcherd my eyes and a nice gerl named Crystal holded me down. I thot he was gonna do that thing like they did in Slumdog Millionaire to make me blind so I cood beg frum peeple for munneys at the BART stayshun cuz owr famly needs the munneys, but he just kept putting diffrint colors of drops in and looked at my teeths and up my noze and sed the 2 werds cats evryware dred heering: TEETHS KLEENING.

Forchewnitly, sinse it was late on a Friday and the man in the bloo kote probly wunted to have a happy howr, the teeths kleening was put off until a littul later. But he gave me medisins wich he promist wood kyoor me so that I cood poze for a Krissmiss card this yeer.

Boy, I shur hope he's rite! If he duz kyoor me, Krissmiss will be saved!!!

Hey, if yoo'd like a cat cam of yer vary own, we're giving away a Cat Cam over at The Cat's Meow.

The Vet Who Saved Krissmiss

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/12/vet-who-saved-krissmiss.html

I was Cuddly today

I cuddled a lot with the FL today becuz she makes me feel better win I do that. I'm still sneezing and they call me Sneezix. My big bruther Mao is sik, too, and he blames it all on me fur getting my snots all over him.

I was Cuddly today

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/12/i-was-cuddly-today.html

Worst Day of My Life!!!!!

I'm still kinda sik, so I sleeped a lot today. The FL let me ware my hot pink manly corderoy kote inside so that I wood stay warm. I was so wiped out, I didn't even kleen the poop offa my ear.

The werst thing EVER happend win I waked up frum my nap. MY CAT CAM WAS GONE!!!!! I looked evryware for it. I thot it mite have fallen off but it wuzn't in any nooks or krannies. It wasn't even in thoze scary spots ware the dust bunnies live. It just vanisht into thin air!!!

I CAN'T BEELEEVE IT!!!! My promissing career as a fotograffer is over before it even began. This is even werse than gitting disqwalifide frum the Nashunul Spellin Bee.

I am verklempt.

Worst Day of My Life!!!!!

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/12/worst-day-of-my-life.html

Cat Cam, Day Two

This is my food mat. I sit on it win I wunt to be fed. I spend a lot of time on this food mat, wich I can prove becuz I have 18 pikchers that look just like this.

Do yoo know whut's rong with this pikcher?

Yoo can see the food mat. Yoo shood be seeing a big heeping plate of Fansy Feest on top of the food mat.

I was sitting thare, all lonely and starving, waiting for the foods that never came. Well, they came evenchully, but it took almost 20 minits. I was reddy to pass owt!

Cat Cam, Day Two

http://skeezixsscratchingpost.blogspot.com/2009/12/cat-cam-day-two.html